That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
