Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your penis caused this!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
