nutella sex= disaster
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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