So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
