I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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