I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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