Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
