Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
