I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My first STD was from a foam party
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
