I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
