The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
