Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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