I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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