I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
