Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
