Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
