guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
