perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
