If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
