I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
