Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
