I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
