I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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