she smelled like a LAN party
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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