I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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