I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
