Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
