i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
