did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
