we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
