Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
