literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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