I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
