Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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