i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
