I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
