Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
