If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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