Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
