His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
