Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
