It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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