never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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