I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
