I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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