Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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