can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
