I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
