Duck Duck Cougar?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
