the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
