all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
