i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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